I saw The Great Gatsby last night and I'm going to...
which you should read bearing in mind that I’ve been up for 14 hours today and at work for 12 of those and I’m also suffering from a critical lack of beers right now be right back I’m going to the store. … This is what The Great Gatsby would be like if The Great Gatsby were also a Harry Potter movie. I wonder if the first thing they’re going to show after the...
I know I got up too early today because I spent a full half a minute staring at a thing of strawberry jam and thinking “That is the grossest-looking ketchup I have ever seen.”
tardisity: The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realest shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
Last night I dreamed that I was walking down the sidewalk and I saw a squirrel riding a skateboard while Smash Mouth’s “All Star” played in the background.
I ride my bike through a construction site on the...
and since I’ve been going to work around 6:30 in the morning lately, I’m usually passing by right as all the construction workers are showing up. Most are Mexican, some are not, almost all of them come to work in pickup trucks of some brand or another, none of them ever pay any attention to me. Bleary-eyed. Stomping their boots. Drinking a 7-11 coffee and trying to find a place to...
It’s an instinct to keep the idea of mystery alive at a time when it seems to be...– This article on Daft Punk is amazing. (via coketalk) Other best quote from this: “With demand still extremely high, Daft Punk put an end to the [Alive 2007 tour] trek as 2007 drew to a close. ‘We wanted to seal it as a special moment,’ says Bangalter. But would they ever bring...
My favorite part about this article about how throwing lavish Great Gatsby-themed parties is stupid, ironic, and entirely missing the point is the part where he says “It’s like throwing a Lolita-themed children’s birthday party.” My favorite part of this rebuttal article which claims that arguing that the emptiness of wealth and the American dream is the only point of The...
They say my lip gloss is cool, my lip gloss be poppin’.– Sylvia Plath (via incorrectsylviaplathquotes)
I never thought, when I was younger, that getting a new necktie for free would be something about which I would be legitimately stoked. Then again, I also never thought (while I was in college, let’s say) that when my 25th birthday rolled around I would be earning my rent as a fine dining breakfast waitress, of all things. Life man. Life’s weird.
Bourgeois: When using this word it is essential to remember that it is...– Zadie Smith (British novelist, essayist and short story writer), a reflection from the Oxford American Writers Thesaurus (via oupacademic)
Women with accidental pregnancy 4X more likely to... →
whydoihaveablog: Women with unintended pregnancy are four times more likely to suffer from postpartum depression at twelve months postpartum, suggests a new study published today (8 May) in BJOG: An International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology. Hahhahahahahahahahaha. Women Who Find Themselves Raising an Entire Human Being They Didn’t Want, At Least At This Time In Their Lives, Turn...
On setting a time limit for things you know you...
adulting: “You know, the real reason that works is that as soon as you set a timer, you become so aware of the pointlessness of what you’re doing and can’t even enjoy it. Like, if you decide you can sleep 10 more minutes, that’s always the worst 10 minutes of sleep.” - Boyfriend Dave
I'm glad I read books
because someone in this one was just described as “glum as a foetus in a bottle.”
My mom recently asked me via text message to do a favor for her, and followed up the request with the admittedly enticing but incomprehensible bribe, “I’ll bring you a plantain.”
Anyone who considers this in any sense a relevant news story is failing to remember that Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is far from the first violent criminal to be hot.